One problem with the UK

9 June 2008 | Miscellaneous

I read recently that the function of the British Council was to work overseas to counter the opinion that Britain is a “heritage theme park inhabited by football hooligans”. This is probably the best description of the UK that I have ever read – removing the word ‘football’ would make it more up-to-date as that football violence seems to have died down now. Nevertheless, not only have most heritage sites been commoditified and stupefied beyond recognition (out of work actors dressing up as Henry VIII are not what you want when you visit Hampton Court Palace), but the number one pastime in the UK seems to be drinking until you fall over.

A year after the introduction of ‘continental-style’ 24 hour drinking licensing, we now have to have ‘field hospitals for drunken City workers‘. As soon as the weather creeps above freezing people congregate outside pubs, stand on the pavement or in the road all evening drinking, without eating, and then fall over on the way home. The fact that the new licensing laws have made no difference to the binge drinking culture is testament to the fact that it is very deeply ingrained – I’m sure you could write a book on the subject.

Here’s one example I saw from my flat a couple of weeks ago at about 1:30am. I would’ve called an ambulance but for the fact that his snoring was reverberating between the buildings.

Amongst the reasons why this is the prevalent modus operandi of urbanites between the ages of 15 and 40 is the fact that it is socially acceptable: drunk driving is not, but having a funny weekend drunk story to tell fellow office workers on Monday morning makes it all worthwhile. The fact no-one stops to eat is because the English don’t have a strong food culture – English food is (still) generally bland, unseasoned, overcooked stodge so why stop to eat it when you’re full of beer anyway? In Spain and Italy people eat with their drink, late into the evening, but then with Spanish tapas or Italian pasta it makes more sense. The English make do with ten pints and a kebab.

2008-06-09  »  admin